Don´t get me wrong...my host family is going far out of their way to make me feel comfortable here. They make sure I have everything I need. I should have no reason to complain. But...I AM SO BORED! I have nobody my age to hang out with. My days consist of going to the high school, going home, preparing lunch for the next day, watching an hour of TV with Mirza, my host grandma, and going to bed. This is not at all what I expected for this "adventure". I have found myself looking out my bedroom window at the basketball courts wordering if I could meet people there. I also catch myself looking at complete strangers who look about my age wondering if they would think it weird for a stranger to come up and ask them randomly if they wanted to hang out. I don´t usually have trouble making friends but when there is nobody around to meet, it gets complicated.
I have talked with other volunteers and they have big families and live within 20 minutes of each other so they hang out all the time and are definitely not feeling as isolated as me. Yesterday they went on a wine vinard tour while I got yelled at for taking a walk along the beach. I came back to the house with wet feet and Mirza told me she didn´t want me to go to the beach anymore. She also told me that she is going on vacation to thermal waters next weekend so I will be by myself. I am so not cool living in her big house alone but what am I going to say?
This whole experience is not what I expected. Chile is not like the Latin America that I love. Where I am located there is no rice nor beans, no music in the streets, no sun and no heat (because it is winter), and worst of all NO DANCING! Why the heck am I here?!?!?! I miss being able to walk everywhere I want to go (where I live I have to take a bus) and leave whenever I want. Most of all I miss my FREEDOM. Mirza is very protective. I feel tied down to the house because she worries when I am out. Just because I am on a role of complaints, let me mention how aweful of fish guts this town and my school smell all the time. Also, the high school where I teach is not well kept. There is grafitti all over and windows broken. The kids make me so frustrated because they don´t listen. It puts me in such a bad mood that I don´t want to teach them because they act like they don´t want to learn. GRRRRR!!!! Is this high schoolers in general or is it just in Chile?
Most of all, this experience is making me realize how great everything is at home. The education system is FAR more structured in the United States. In most schools, the students know what is expected of them and the expectations are enforced, unlike the high school I am in here. I also realize how much I value my freedom in the States and how much my family supports me.
I just want to come home!!!! I´m sick of pretending to be happy. My host family is super accomodating but there are some things that they cannot give me. I miss my friends and my social life! Any suggestions?!?! Please email me: picturekate@hotmail.com
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1 comment:
Katie, my dear! Thank you for sending me a link to your blog! It's so exciting to hear about what you've been up to--despite how "bored" you might be. Hang in there, though! Remember that the things that seem the most challenging may also be the most worthwhile and rewarding experiences.
My social calendar isn't always full, but I try to keep myself busy by working out (going for a walk or run.. do you have access to a bike at all?) I'd find a basketball and head down to that court you were talking about :) Good luck and hope to hear from ya soon!
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